Friday, May 15, 2009

And So it Ends (And it begins)

Finally. It's over. My freshman year of college has officially been completed. Although it's been challenging, I gotta say, I've absolutely loved it. So many things I've learned. Calculus is not fun. Physics still is. I picked the right major, thank the Lord. I don't want to change it like SO many students do. I know myself pretty well, but I'm always changing and growing. Commuting is not fun. But Dr. Little IS... despite how hard he tries to intimidate the world. I may hate "The Human Situation" but it still managed to become one of my favorite classes. Laughing during every single one of our gatherings probably has something to do with that. The library actually does help me study. School is a lot more fun when I study. Or at least do my homework. I don't enjoy taking tests over things I don't understand. College kids are pretty notorious for all-nighters. I don't like them. I like to sleep. A lot. All the time. It makes life (and school) better. I need support and encouragement even though I always try to take care of myself. Pictures = therapy. Experience is the best teacher there is. Procrastination really isn't as much fun as I used to believe it is. Life is hard, but it's worth it. Teachers usually know more things better than I do. Yet this is NOT an absolute truth. My education is my responsibility, and I don't need to rely on professors to spoonfeed it to me. They usually won't. It is extremely nice though when I find one of those teachers who really and truly cares. They're rare. They're amazing. Maybe they're amazing because they're rare. What difference does something make that EVERYONE has? No, no. It's those unique moments in life that really matter. I don't know if this blog really makes sense. I'm tired. It's been a long day. And it's been an even longer week. But this is what I've been thinking about since realizing I'm done. It suddenly hit me today when I was well over halfway to my house. I'd finished all of my finals, all homework, all essays, my application, and even moving out. And I was going home. I almost stopped driving when the shock, excitement, fear, anxiety, happiness, etc. all overwhelmed me. I'm finished. I'm done. I did it. It's over. I have successfully transitioned into a college kid. I can't express how much I love new beginnings. Now that this first year is past, I have new beginnings right ahead of me. And I am so excited! As a certain singer whom I shall not name would say, I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life, as ready as I've ever been. Life is flying along so fast. We know how that is. Sometimes it's crazy down and I just want to curl up and pretend I don't exist for a little while, but I love the ride I'm on right now. I have so many opportunities at hand. So much to look forward to. So much to look back on. And so much to just relish right now. I feel perfect today.
I didn't get straight As this semester. I didn't get straight As last semester. I know I've improved though. I done so much hard work though - both in subjects I like and subjects I hate. It makes me fairly proud that I can find motivation in either case. This feeling is hopefully something I'll never forget. Working towards this particular achievement is something I can handle. Working until I feel like I've worked. The work isn't really that much fun, but the results are addictive to me. Maybe this will REALLY sink in... like enough to motivate me into better time management and less procrastination and/or apathy. We'll have to see on that one. :-)
So anyway, this is almost pure exhaustion talking, but I just realllllly wanted to capture how I feel today. It's been such a gloriously happy day... since noon. The morning was pretty great, but it was a bit stressful. All the work I did this morning is what made this afternoon so amazing though, so it was worth it. I can hardly believe I'm finally done.

P.S. I cannot wait to see Lisa. She isn't done yet. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I love ya tomorrow.


Ruth said...

Yesly Yes. I don't know if it is just because I was with you all day, but this expresses a lot of what I have been thinking. Especially the part about life with sleep being a good idea . . . :-P
It made sense to me. It made me happy. However, be aware that I haven't slept much recently. things that make sense to me may not make sense to the rest of the world . . .

Lisa said...

2 words. Fortune. Cookies.

seriously, the first half of this blog was like a bunch of fortune cookie sayings. you could sell some to china ko.

i'm proud of you. you have indeed improved this semester.

welcome to college, Sistah!

KateKate said...

Hannah Tannah!!!!